Dwight Kurt Schrute's Journal

23rd May, 2020. 6:00 pm.

( My middle name is Kurt, not Fart. )

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cheshiremods

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29th July, 2008. 7:54 pm. Third entry

Dwight.

Things to buy:

• More pens.
• A safe, since pens keep going missing.
• A camera, to find out who is taking all of my pens, because they are not just disappearing into thin air. Even if people try to tell me that they are, they are not.
• Bungee cord.

Get on that right away.

Over and out.

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11th July, 2008. 8:33 pm. Second entry.

Dwight.

I have a few things I would like to bring to your attention.

Firstly. Tuna Fish is not a smart lunch idea when it is very hot outside and you do not have a refrigerator in your office. I am sure you already know that while we could put it in the refrigerator in the cafeteria, the patients are sure to steal our sandwich, despite the fact that it is clearly labeled 'Dwight Schrute's personal Tuna Sandwich that he made himself and brought from home, do not STEAL OR TOUCH'. I know what you are thinking, Dwight. Just because they are crazy, this does not mean that they are dumb.

Wrong. They are dumb. Which is why they need someone smart like us to help them.

Also, Egg salad is to be added onto that list as well. Anything with mayonnaise or Miracle Whip.

On that note, to not believe the patients when they tell you that Miracle Whip. is the same thing as Cool Whip. They are not the same whipped substance, and this will ruin your pudding cup later on in the day when you replace one with the other.

That is all for now.

Over and out.

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19th June, 2008. 7:22 am. First Entry

Hello, Dwight.

While most people write 'dear journal' on top of thier paper, I find this rediculous. Saying hello to an inatimate object? Stupid. Fact: It can not read. Also, it will not get offended if you don't acknowledge it when you're writing about your day.

Unless it's a robot. But then you probably wouldn't be writing in it, you'd be recording your voice into it to play back later. The future will have robots. Just wait and see.

So, I write Hello Dwight. Why? I'll tell you why. Because when I am reading this in the near future, I will think back to my past self and know that I am talking to future me, which will be present me while I'm reading it. And I will tell future present me about my travels and adventures. Also, I think that the time machine will be invented soon, and if I bring my journal back in time with me, I will know the future. It's brilliant.

Not much has happened today, Dwight.

Over and out.

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23rd May, 2008. 2:56 am.

( Application. )

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